Kevin Baldeosingh
Hi Al!
Writing to you from sunny St Clair, where I am watching my gold Mercedes parked in the driveway and my non-black neighbours are watching me green with envy. Who said only God can create a rainbow, ha ha? I plan to spend the afternoon jingling my piggy bank and doing no work—ie usual thing. Hope Anil enjoying life in foreign!
Adolph
Hello Savitri,
The family sends greetings from Rome and, more importantly, the Pope says Ciao! We’re sorry you couldn’t make it this time but, until the media stop hounding me about spending monies that I am legally entitled to, we’ll have to cut down on the wine and jewelry and wafers. The good news is that I have asked Pope Benedict to pray for all leaks from my office to be plugged. So look forward next year to an Arctic cruise. Arrivederci!
Tony.
Dear Touss,
Bonjou bon maten! That’s Haitian for “Good morning” here in Port-au-Prince, where I am relaxing by the hotel pool with an apéritif (that’s French for aperitif). Later, I start delivering canned food and bottled water to the suffering masses. I look forward to their grateful faces. I just hope my armed escort arrives in time, there are some violent farmers who have been attacking aid workers for giving away free food and the farmers are vexed they can’t sell their fresh produce. Damn capitalists! This is the kind of greed that keeps Haiti poor, along with the fee they paid France 200 years ago. Weather is nice.
Dess.
Habari Winston!
Enjoying my stay here in Ghana, and feeling especially salama (at peace) since I know God won’t be sending any hurricanes or earthquakes to this land where homosexuality has been banned according to Jehovah’s law. And, as icing on the holy cake, there are hordes of poor children everywhere who I can help just by giving some of them a penny, which is like a whole day’s salary. It makes me feel truly blessed and, when I come back to Trinidad, I am going to lobby even harder for laws against these gays. I am amazed that the Government hasn’t already used this policy to ensure oil prices go up! Kwaheri till I see you.
Clive
Achtung Majorie!
Greetings from Berlin. Nice city, everyone obeys the traffic laws, nobody feel they could just drive in the fast lane, even if they pregnant and Indian. Going out on the autobahn this afternoon to stop drivers who break the speed limit, I expect the German police will be glad for my help. Heil!
PC
Hey Phil,
Landed in Miami this morning and have spent the day shopping with no seven per cent tax because I not online. That will show Colm! Can’t believe in this day and age the Government want to interfere with the free market system, instead of passing laws to make sure Courts and Price Smart and doubles vendors keep down their prices. I really feeling sorry for all those Trinis who have to pay an additional seven dollars every time they buy something for $100. Much cheaper to come here and shop, even including bribes for Customs officers in Piarco.
Fargo
Dear Tony,
Enjoying my stay in Washington, my comments on American politics are already having more impact because I’m on the scene, as it were, instead of posting from T&T. Plan to watch debate right from my hotel, nice to not have to rely in Internet feed, so I can devote all my bandwidth to giving my views on the election campaign and persuade Americans not to vote for Trump.
Selwyn
Wassup Eintou!
Enjoying my stay here in Success Laventille. Going out for walk tonight since homicides have been reduced by 55 per cent in this neighbourhood, so I feel really safe. In fact, I’m more worried about all those people who aren’t vacationing in Embacadere or Covigne Road or Sea Lots, since I found out last month that the murder rate in 2016 fell just 17 per cent by using my calculator and Yesenia. Going to wear a tight red dress for my walk, so I can do my part to re-define masculinities.
Gabs
Email: kevin.baldeosingh@zoho.com
Kevin Baldeosingh is a professional writer, author of three novels, and co-author of a Caribbean history textbook.
