I usually find it entertaining to read the sometimes comical, neatly laminated “words of wisdom” and catchy one liners plastered all over the low ceiling interiors and almost every nook and cranny inside maxi taxis while travelling, but a visually-disturbing trip aboard a PBR maxi en route to work took the cake recently. Capitals are included as they appeared.
The shameless signage included:
1: ATTENTION PASSENGERS: Please do not wait until we are OVERTAKING another vehicle to ring the bell. Do it before I overtake.
Hmm—does this means I must employ mind reading abilities to foresee when this driver will attempt to put my life and the lives of others at risk by overtaking?
2: The front seat is way too small to accommodate THE OBESE passenger. Unless you intend to pay for both seats.
What a relief to know I can still fit into my waist 34” trousers comfortably.
3: The front seat of this vehicle is reserved for the FEMALE PASSENGER(S) ONLY. Doh rush the front seat!
This one was placed on the visor right above the front passenger seat for his/her view. The ironic thing was that both front seat passengers were male—a teen in his school uniform and an elderly man. Imagine after climbing into the front seat (as a man like me) only to see this sexist sign bombarding my retina. Should I do a post-Rosa Parks humbling and vacate myself to the (dis)comfort of the fold-out, edge-about-to-collapse-on-its-hinge seat in the back?
4: DON’T POKE THE DRIVER! Doh touch the driver!
Thank God for not being speech impaired if I wanted to signal the driver’s attention to collect his fare.
5. ABSOLUTELY NO GANJA SMOKING within this space...unless you intend to share with D’ Boss.
Oho! If only I’d walked with an extra reefer reward for Mr Maxi Man, I would have gotten smoking privileges! Oh well, maybe next time.
6. ATTENTION PASSENGERS: PBR—Please Bathe Regularly—Perfumes and colognes do not always correct the problem of offensive BODY ODOURS.
Thank God again for the running water shower I had that morning and not having to take a cowboy-style bucket bath.
7. FIREWOOD FOR SALE: Ladies if you desire premium quality firewood for your wood burning stove, get it right here...FREE DELIVERY
How much more desperate and deliberate can the oversexed get?
The list could have gone on, as there were so many more nuggets to include, but alas, the maxi had crawled inside the City Gate maze.
Sadly, I had to make do with the above “Magnifi-senseless Seven” signs mentioned above, tuck away my pen and scuttle off the oversized lunch kit on wheels before Mr Maxi Man had cause to plan his next sign geared to deal with passengers refusing to get off his maxi when it reached its destination.
Travelling Man,
San Juan