Kevin Baldeosingh
Last week, Prime Minister Keith Rowley revealed that he buys underwear for his wife. Yet I have not seen any statement from Womantra or Wonderful World praising the PNM leader for breaking gender stereotypes or offering a discount on silk teddies. Not even the Institute of Gender and Development Studies has commended Dr Rowley for his staunch defence of female Government ministers Nicole Olivierre, Camille Robinson-Regis and Marlene McDonald for whom, I am sure, he has never bought bustiers, wigs, or a tarpaulin.
Now although I am a newspaper writer who treats with women’s issues more often than gender feminists, logical women and homosexuals, I would not ever attempt to buy a bra for my wife. So I was quite impressed to find out that the country’s 7th Prime Minister apparently knows the difference between a balconette and a push-up. After all, not even PNM founder Dr Eric Williams seems to have paid much attention to women’s undergarments, which is referred to only once in Capitalism and Haberdashery when he notes that “As the demand for French knickers grew among the working class, gussets helped the cotton lobby thrive through better absorbency.”
By contrast, Dr Rowley, responding to a question about Planning Minister Camille Robinson-Regis having deposited $93,000 at First Citizens Bank, last week told the media at a post-Cabinet news briefing: “Because I have a credit card in FCB and suppose I go and buy some underwear for my wife and I didn’t deliver it to her in time and somebody tells the press, I’m another story.”
Now I didn’t know that flags got raised at any bank when even a male politician buys women’s underwear, although it is true that banks characterise such customers as Politically Exposed Persons or Watson Duke. Which alone is a good reason for politicians to have clean underwear. But it seems that Dr Rowley is worried that buying panties raises the same flags as a Government Minister carrying around $93,000 in cash. As far as I know, all banks are mandated to ask any customer to identify a source of funds for such a large cash transaction, then report the matter to the Financial Intelligence Unit, who in turn reports such activity to the police, who in turn eat six doubles with slight.
Nonetheless, Ms Robinson-Regis was so upset at her business being exposed that she immediately closed her account at FCB, even though the bank denied having leaked any information about her. So who are we to believe: the bank or the politician? In this case, it’s impossible to say, since FCB is a State-owned bank which once had a CEO who became a politician with a $10 million handshake from the bank’s board which later had to fire an executive in charge of risk after suspicious activity over an Initial Public Offering which led to the board getting rid of itself.
Dr Rowley himself has said that he believes Ms Robinson-Regis’s explanation, and argued that “if people have evidence of wrong-doing, put the evidence forward.” So I expect the PNM leader should very soon get in his mailbox some printed-out emails with an alleged conversation between Minister McDonald and retired teacher Michael Carew, saying something like the following:
MC: Boluckshus, I really want to be in a house.
MM: I coming right over, Nutsy.
MC: A HDC house, molasses.
MM: I will drop a note to the Housing Minister about your application, honey roasted.
MC: Thanks, custard. Remember I only have part of the money to buy it, eh, so you go have to lend me the rest.
MM: How much you have, pistachio?
MC: The place costing $900,000, milkshake, so you just have to give me $895,000.
MM: No problem, peanuts.
MC. Will do later, guava jam.
Would Dr Rowley consider this sufficient proof to lay before Parliament, or would he say it could be a conversation between Sprangalang and hard candy?
After all, Dr Rowley has accepted the advice of Petrotrin’s attorneys that there is not enough evidence to continue a case against former chairman Malcolm Jones although, since Dr Rowley had appointed Jones to an energy board even before the case was dropped, he must have already decided that the evidence against Jones was as flimsy as a thong.
But that’s okay: the non-PNM-till-Ah-dead public has already decided that Marlene’s and Camille’s explanations are like corsets: a device designed to give unsatisfactory bodies a pleasing shape that is entirely deceptive.
Kevin Baldeosingh is a professional writer, author of three novels, and co-author of a Caribbean history textbook.
